Altering just one word in an internal dialogue could change how individuals react to stress. In a set of experiments conducted by University of Michigan psychologist Ethan Kross, participants who referred to themselves by name, or utilized pronouns like “you,” indicated lower levels of distress and were assessed as performing better in stressful social tasks compared to those who used “I” and “me.”
The results stemmed from seven studies involving 585 subjects, published in 2014 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The researchers referred to the method as “non-first-person self-talk,” which is now frequently termed distanced self-talk.
This should not be taken as treatment advice. We aim to analyze what the research indicates and what it does not.
What the researchers actually examined
The study was not merely a survey asking individuals how they typically communicated with themselves. Participants were instructed to employ various types of language while contemplating scenarios intended to induce social stress.
In one study, 97 female undergraduates were informed they would have a videotaped conversation with another participant and should strive to create a positive first impression. They were also told that trained psychologists would evaluate their social skills.
Prior to the conversation, half were directed to explore their feelings using first-person language. Their thoughts might resemble: “Why am I feeling nervous? What can I do to create a good impression?”
The other group was instructed to use their own names and non-first-person pronouns. For instance, someone named Sarah might think: “Why is Sarah feeling nervous? What can Sarah do to create a good impression?”
After excluding participants for procedural issues and those who inferred the experiment’s purpose, the analysis involved 89 women. Independent raters, unaware of the specific instructions provided to each participant, evaluated their eye contact, vocal quality, length of speech, visible discomfort, and overall social performance.
Participants in the non-first-person group received superior performance ratings. They also experienced a more notable decrease in self-reported anxiety following the interaction, although the overall interaction between condition and anxiety over time just failed to meet the conventional threshold for statistical significance. This nuance is important because the simplified version, “using your name reduces anxiety,” is more straightforward than the statistical outcome.
A more conservative interpretation is that, in this experiment, distanced self-talk influenced how anxiety shifted after the stressful interaction and was connected to improved observed performance. This represents one research document encompassing several experiments, rather than a definitive consensus on how everyone ought to communicate with themselves.
The public-speaking experiment yielded a similar outcome
A different experiment placed 89 undergraduates in a more familiar pressure scenario. Participants were allotted five minutes to prepare a speech outlining why they were suited for their dream job. They subsequently delivered it to two assessors while being recorded on video.
Before speaking, participants were randomly selected to process their emotions using either first-person or non-first-person language. Two observers, unaware of the groups assigned to the participants, later evaluated the speeches based on confidence, nervousness, and overall performance.
Participants in the non-first-person condition received more favorable ratings. They also reported experiencing less shame and were less affected by the rise in negative emotions observed in the first-person group. During a waiting period after the speech, they engaged in less rumination about their performance.
The difference in performance was statistically significant, although not vast. The experiment also involved a small, primarily young undergraduate sample completing an artificial task in a controlled environment. This raises questions about whether the same results would manifest in older adults, in various cultural contexts, or during truly high-stakes situations.
Why referring to oneself by name might create psychological distance
Kross and his team asserted that pronouns can subtly shift the perspective from which individuals view a problem.
When a person thinks, “Why am I feeling so anxious?” the individual experiencing the emotion and the one attempting to comprehend it occupy the same linguistic position. The question remains closely tied to the immediate sensation.
“Why is Sarah feeling anxious?” echoes the language one might use when contemplating another individual’s situation. The problem still pertains to Sarah, yet the phrasing may allow for a slightly more detached examination of the scenario.
The researchers explored this theory in two preliminary experiments. Participants recalled an incident that provoked anger or a past anxiety-inducing experience and then reflected on it using either first-person or non-first-person language. Those utilizing their names